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Have you ever been fine with something when it’s far away, but when you get closer, and closer to it. You start to realize how much you can’t handle it? Like, jumping off the highest diving board. Standing inside, looking at it through the window, you might think it’ll be a piece of cake. But as you get closer, as you begin to climb the ladder, you can feel your stomach start to churn. And once you’re right there, on the edge looking down, you realize that there is no way you can handle this. That when you jump, you’re not going to have the strength to keep swimming. But there’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t change anything and you can’t turn around and go back down the ladder, you have to jump. That’s life. It targets your weaknesses, and makes everyday a constant struggle to keep your head above water.
So, guess what day it is. February 14, Valentines day. Luckily, I’ve spent all day in my room, so I haven’t had to stomach all the hearts and lovey-dovey romantic crap. And really, is Valentines day even necessary? I mean, aren’t you supposed to show the people that you love, how much you love them everyday? I don’t want people to buy me flowers and chocolate once out of the year. I want it to be a surprise every now and then, all through out the year. But apparently, that’s too much to ask. The smallest things, are too much to ask nowadays. Seriously. Like, for instance. Just simply being happy. That is way too much to ask in this lifetime. Life can really suck. And a lot of people, have no idea how much. Even me. The one thing you should always remember when you’re down, is that someone somewhere has it worse than you. That probably won’t help you feel better, but. You should still remember that. So, I’m still sick as hell. Isn’t that wonderful? When they tell you that time heals everything, seriously. Don’t believe them. Because that’s not true. Maybe sometimes it is, but not always. Nothing is always. Nothing is 100%. And nothing is forever. I’m done, now. Because I need to sleep.
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