16th February 2009

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You know, it really sucks that you have no control over the way that you feel. I mean, really. You can’t help it. The way things affect you, the way you feel about someone, your heart calls the shots on all of that. Whether they’re in your reach, or a million miles away from you, it doesn’t care. It’ll make you fall for whoever it wants to, and for me. Well, I think it’s done a pretty good job. I guess. I mean, sure. It’s hard a lot of times, but there isn’t anyone that I wish I never got involved with. There are four people that have come to mean a lot to me over the past two years. I can’t say for sure that I’ve been in love four times, but I do know I’ve fallen in love at least once. Love is a really really strong word, you know. It’s not a word that you go throwing around to just anyone. When you fall in love, I really can’t even tell you what it’s like. Because there are just no words for it. But everything will change, trust me on that. Love is actually kind of like a drug. And if you ask me, people shouldn’t even be held accountable for some of the things that they do, because when love’s involved, logic and reason are kind of nonexistant. It’s almost like you have tunnel vision. And the only thing you can see is them. They’re all that matters, and whatever it takes to keep a smile on their face, you’ll do it. Wrong or right, you’ll always be on their side. I could go on and on and on about love all night, but I’m not going to do that. My point for tonight in particular is, when you love someone. You love them. Nothing can change that, and nothing can stop you from being drawn to them. You can’t say no. You can’t walk away. Self control is completely absent. Sometimes it sucks, but I’ve never once regretted loving someone. Not even for a second. Because when love is returned, there’s no greater feeling.

On a lighter note, I’m feeling somewhat better. I guess. I don’t know, I kind of go up and down. But at the moment, I’m okay. Sort of. I’m going to go to bed early once again, and stay home one more day, though. Because I still do feel pretty fslja. So, okay. I know I just kind of rambled tonight, but oh well. It still felt good. Goodnight.